After introducing a new “impact” character last chapter I felt that I needed to flesh him out right away since I needed him to “get busy” stirring some things up. I considered doing that while he was doing the actual stirring, but it seemed like I had a perfect opportunity to have Ohrder take over the narration of that particular matter since he already had a history with Dougerty. And the since the prince and princess had no idea who the leader of the Hand really was, all I needed to do was stick the three of them into a scene or two, and voila, we’re there. It sure seemed like it should have worked out great, but let’s see if it did?
I’m sorry you had to read that. This was the first time since I started these posts that I literally had to get up and walk away for a few hours to keep myself from starting to rewrite a chapter. I’ll hit the highlights of what’s wrong with the writing and then I’ll make a confession about how things really got off track. First, the introductory paragraphs where the royals get caught talking about Ohrder behind his back, that may be salvageable, but it was so poorly crafted–never mind the choppy writing, that I had Juhstice taking on multiple personalities and none of them were true to the Prince I’ve already introduced everyone to. From there, things do plain out a bit, but at no time does this chapter ever have a good flow, or do the characters ever feel like they’re anything more than cardboard cutouts of themselves. I am happy with the backstory on Sir Dougherty and the introduction of his evil counterpart Sir Behkworth. Additionally, I think the whole concept of the “Golden Arms” was something that helps the story grow in the “lore” category. And with fantasy stories you need a solid lore foundation. So, where did I go wrong? It’s a simple thing, I always know when it’s happening, but I haven’t found a way to stop it yet.
For the scenes that I type to have a chance of being well written, they first have to come to life in my head. And I’m talking about a lot more than just the basic outline of who’s in the scene and what actions and dialog they need to do here. If I sit down “cold”, with my mind not fully on my story, if the what’s happening and what people are saying hasn’t already been churning–churning is a perfect word for what needs to happen, through my imagination, then what follows is always disjointed, and almost always gets a total rewrite. So why do I even attempt to start writing when I haven’t been churning? Sadly, because sometimes the only way to get things churning is to start writing, no matter how bad the writing is. It’s a vicious cycle that I’m sorry you had to witness.
Thank you for hanging in there with me,
Mike
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