Chapter Forty – Consequences

The last chapter was about the after effects of having the Dragon speaking into people’s minds. But where do you go from there? I’ve talked before about how you just can’t leave some plotlines laying around; if the you’ve got a character that would be doing something that can’t be ignored then you have to deal with it. In this case, Bixly is marked by the dragon and enthusiastic about serving his new master. The more I thought about that, the more I felt the need to introduce a new element into the story…consequences. This is a story about good verses evil, but I want it to also be a story of hope–and how better to show that than through redeeming some of the ‘evil’ characters? After playing around with some ideas, I decided to just turn Bixly and Tuvor loose and see what happens. Then, as happens in real life, when faced with the consequences of our actions, I’d let them choose which path they’d take. I believe there is almost always a fork in the road that leads to redemption, and my main goal for this chapter was to demonstrate that–along with the consequences of not doing so. I’m hopeful that the writing is a little better than the last chapter, but there’s only one way to find out.

EHLSEWHERE Chapter Forty

Well, the writing was underwhelming, but somewhat readable. I’ll definitely need to do a lot of polishing to get it to flow. It needs to have more emotion built into the first scene where Shahdow finds the stable master dead, and also notched up when Tuvor is facing his likely death. Additionally, once the scene shifts for the Teahouse apartment to Ohrder’s chambers, things get a little too lighthearted. On the good side, I did like the two men being called to account and the way both options played out–there will be more to follow on just what that means for Bixly, but even as it stands I think the readers will realize he’s not been ‘set free’ as he initially supposed. One of the things I’ll have to work though on the rewrite is that, as is, this chapter is already pushing the boundaries as far as length goes. Building more emotional impact into it will require more words, not less if I’m not careful. Which brings up a very important point. It takes work, playing around with the scene and the characters thoughts, actions and dialog, but often a few strong sentences can take you places that sever wordy paragraphs never can.

May the Lord’s word light your path today and everyday,

Mike

 


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