I feel that Foreshadowing is one of the most important parts of story telling as far as building tension and expectation goes and I therefore try to use it a lot. In Ehlsewhere, I’m not sure I’ve foreshadowed anything as much as a certain oversized lizard. Well, the time finally arrived to unveil the dragon. Granted, I already dedicated a chapter to Khaos’ transformation from human to beast–but that’s not the same as bringing him into the current state of events with the main storyline and the other characters. The tricky part is this…major foreshadowing better have a BIG payoff; as in the reader thinking, “Wow, I’ve been waiting for this!” So, the main goal I had for this chapter was for it not to be a ho-hum letdown. No, it can’t be that. I really need this to be a chapter that grips you, with an antagonist that gets everyone’s attention and leaves no doubt that everything changed the moment he arrived on the scene. That’s what I need…but what did I get?
Well, my first thought is that there wasn’t as much of the actual dragon as I’d wanted. But my next thought was…“I think it still worked.” I liked the chapter. There’s a lot happening, more battling of vile beasts, but I’m not getting the feeling that it’s just revisiting things we already know, leaving us bogged down in redundancy. I do think it stays interesting and relevant until the dragon appears, and when that happens things definitely kicked up a few notches, which was paramount. The problem areas that stood out to me dealt with points of view. I would have liked to delve deeper into Shahdow’s internal struggle as he realizes he called forth the dragon. Also, I’ve got Juhstice, Dharis and Behkworth present, but they are barely even mentioned…what are they thinking about everything that is happening. Can I address those issues without turning this into a twenty page chapter? That’s doubtful, but I’ll certainly give it some thought. There were some other areas that need work to make them clearer and easier to read too. Still, over all, I’m happy with what I just read.
Blessings to you and yours,
Mike
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