I’ve talked about splitting chapters based on size before, and chapters seventeen and eighteen definitely fit that bill. Given that, for the most part, what I wrote about the last chapter applies to this one. I wanted it to continue the ‘feel good’ mood as the boy’s relationship continues to grow, but plot-wise I needed to get some things moving with regards to the prophesy unfolding and Shahdow’s role in making that happen. And one last thing…since this is supposed to be a Christian story, I know I need to do a better job or interweaving some spiritual perspectives and events, but I don’t want those things to be contrived or forced when I do. Okay, enough rambling, time to read what I wrote and see how things went.
First things first, I think the growing bond between the two boys is good stuff. I was worried I might have stretched out the lighthearted enjoying each other’s company part too much, but after reading the chapter I think it’s fine, just needs some polishing. Then we switch gears to dealing with the Dearth. One part I really liked was Shahdow’s progression from being a boy who’s just going along with events to becoming a young man who studies the world around him and steps up to do whatever is needed. His character growth along those lines needs to continue, and as it does I want it to be believable. Speaking of believable. From day one, turning a man into a dragon has always been a part of this story. The mechanics of pulling that off are tricky, and I’m not sure if the way I laid it out in this chapter gets the job done–I know I didn’t nail it. I’m hoping I can keep the basics of how Shahdow’s ‘belief’ brought about what was always ordained to be, but the writing isn’t strong enough to carry it at this point. So, at least that portion of the chapter will require a rewrite to some degree. Even so, overall I’m happy with the chapter.
May the Lord bless your day,
Mike
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